Darkness is here to stay.....but there is Hope.....

Woke up early this morning to the sound of rain. It was early, very early. Tried to go back to sleep but than it began raining in my head. Wouldn't stop. I guess it just goes to show how little control we actually have over our lives at times. Talked to myself for awhile....actually a long while. They say that sometimes talking to oneself is therapeutic. Helps bring about healing. Not sure. All I know is that it is cheaper than some of the alternatives....drugs.....harmful vices.....Wrote awhile in my journals. They say that writing can be therapeutic. Helps bring about healing. Not sure. Again.....all I know is that it is cheaper and less harmful than some of my vices and medication..... Poked my head outside and checked the weather this morning. It's dark and overcast. My plans to go to desert or mountains with my two sons may be dashed. It's quiet now. It has stopped raining in my head for the moment. All I hear is silence. No voices....no answers.....It's quiet..... Don't feel particularly anxious. Answers and formula's to life's problems are overated. Creates expectations and unmet expectations result in confusion and help to create a whole new set of questions. ....and....causes the rain to start up in my head again......Don't mind a bit of rain but too much rain can cause flooding. ...Used to go to great lengths to protect myself from the rain but these days I sometimes go out into the rain without a raincoat. I'ts not all that bad....really.....The feel of rain on your face. The rain on my glasses blurrs my vision but am beginning to question how much clarity do we really need. Been wearing bifocals for the past few years and can honestly report that my life really hasn't qualitatively improved. Don't intend to abandon the glasses because I realize and acknowledge that sometimes we need glasses to see where we are going.....but....sometimes.....glasses don't help much.....especially when it is pitch dark. In these moments all we can do is walk by faith. Faith is not certainity. Faith is based on hope. Hope is what I live by not certainity. Certainity is a myth. Hope is all we have.... certainity is what we create to protect ourselves from the darkness. But, certainity is no match for the darkness. Darkness will prevail....in time.....Darkness is not all there is.....Darkness has a twin brother and his name is light. Light is real....light is good.....and when light appears it is good to walk in the light....but light does not last forever.....eventually he gives way to his twin brother....Most of us prefer to walk in the light....but this is not always possible.....so perhaps we should accept the darkness. Darkness is here to stay....but so is light....they are brothers.....they are family......"The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want......Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me......this is hope and hope is all we have in this world......