Friday, September 30, 2005

Flower Power

Just sitting here at the keyboard listening to my new Time Life 60's Gold three disc set I bought yesterday and can't help thinking how the times have indeed changed and how cynical, stressful, depressing, and anxious we have become as a nation. Don't mean to sound critical or judmental because I personally believe we have alot of good reasons to currently feel the way we do. Forgive me but listening to many of the songs of the sixties just makes me long for the past. Now mind you, I am not one to be tripping on nostalgia or believing there was a ever a golden past but I can't help feeling we have lost something significant over the years. Don't want to ever return to the past, not that it is possible, but wouldn't mind just a little taste of the optimism, simplicity, and passion that is expressed in the "flower power" music of the past......Seems from my vantage point that we may have become the victims of the pursuit of an American dream that isn't what it is cracked up to be. We seldom stop to smell the roses because we seldom have the time and when we do stop for a brief moment we are more apt to pace back and forth like a wild animal in a cage. .....We are somewhat conscious that are soul is need of something but most of us don't know where to turn most of the time. Were on board of a train that is going non stop to only God knows where but many of us now suspect it ain't a place of peace, prosperity, or heaven on earth. We need a "soul" market correction.....real bad...but......putting the bottom line first isn't the answer....we've been there and done can't buy happiness and we all know that.....We also need real reform on numerous fronts. .....but religious or political ideology isn't the answer, IMHO. ....because.....that's part of the problem and not the solution......some folks seem to think if we just a stick to our religious or political guns long enough we will eventually enter the promise land....don't know about you but I think we are headed further and further into the wilderness.....and......think we have wondered so far into the desert that we have now lost sight of the promise land. Our leaders assure us that we haven't....just stay the course...and.....continue to persevere......yeh right......Perseverence is overated in my book, especially when the ship is obviously sinking.......Personally, I think it is time to jump ship and swim for land before we get any further out to sea......A few seem to be jumping ship but like rats the vast majority of us won't move until the water is drowning us.......Concede I may just be projecting alot of my personal angst onto the rest of the poor souls who inhabit the same space as I but also don't believe my personal angst is simply the figment of my imagination or circumstances. My life ain't all that bad. Have as much job security as can be obtained in the current situation, a refridgerator full of food, a couple of good friends, and more than I need.....So what do we need?.... The hour is late but our flower power ancestors of the 60's are rooting us on. ....Life is formost a journey and we all are on a journey both as individuals and as a nation. Some folks would like us to think we are in reach of the promise land if we just stay the course but I say they are looking at a mirage in the desert. The desert if full of them.....It is time......It is time to "turn, turn, turn", "This is the Magic Moment", "Do you believe in Magic?", It is time to "Get Together", because "What the World Needs now is Love"........not....more....... bottom lines, tax breaks, soldiers in Iraq, politicians who can't relate to the average Joe American, political and religious idealogues, education reforms that don't work, megachurches, oil companies, ........fill in the blank......What we do need is more White Wizards, hobbits who are willing to leave the Shire, Courageous dwarfs, wise Elves, and at least two brave souls who are willing to venture into Mordor

Friday, September 16, 2005

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I think I'm Cracking up

Do you have the time
to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
all at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up

It's been one of those weeks.....on numerous fronts......Work has been hectic.....Spent an entire day in barely keeping my sanity trying to keep up with the lastest techno toys. Earlier last week I learned how to download an operate an MP3 player. This week I was fiddling around with a DVD burner and trying to coordinate all the hook ups to my new satellite dish and HD T.V. Can't believe how complicated and confusing it's all gotten. It's just too much for the average Hobbit/Joe who works eight to ten hours a day. Even the folks who sell the toys aren't often sure how everything works. Love the fruits of technology but in all honesty am growing a bit impatient and disallusioned regarding what it takes to keep up with it all. Consider myself generally literate regarding the world of technology but it seems to be getting more difficult to keep up with it all....hell....I can't even keep track with all the remote controls anymore. Must be at least eight or nine laying around here.
Never was mechanically inclined growing up which probably explains my frustration when it comes to putting things together and hooking things up....on the bright amazed at how much and how far I have come over the years regarding technology. Now know how to operate webpage design, blogs, digital camera's, DVD's, MP'3's, computers, DVR's, and HD T.V.'s. I guess in the long run it is always good to learn new skills but this week my patience, manhood, and self esteem were sorely tested to the max. Still haven't figured out how to burn DVD off television so I can get a copy that will work on my DVD machine at school. Am chomping at the bit to learn in order to begin a DVD library at work. Just hope I don't "crack up" at some point down the road. If I don't figure it out soon I may just pay someone to come out and hook everything up right. It's amazing to watch the serious techno geeks at work. They make it all look so simple......Last but not least.....Worse part of it all are the manuels that come with the various machines. Each one has to be at least a hundred pages. Last week the satellite installers left me with three different manuels for the three different machines they left behind. Spent all afternoon just trying to figure out the rudimentary basics.....In the end got no one to blame or curse at but myself. It was a conscious choice on my part to upgrade my toys. Just hope the industry begins to stream line it all in the years to come or we may all short circuit and crack up.....

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Strange Days

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Is this all there is?

I've been sitting with these thoughts and feelings for awhile now and truth be known this is something that never really goes away but reappears from time to time and most of the time I suspect I just push it into my subconcious where it remains until it gains the motivation and strength to claw its way back to my consciousness .... Recently I catch myself asking, is this all there is? Getting up and going to work, eating, sleeping, spending time with family, friends, and loved ones, going on vacation each summer, and occasionally reading a good book from time to time? Feel like something is missing or is wrong. Sometimes I even wonder if I am just playing games with myself. It's hard to put a finger on anything concrete. Part of me, my realistic, intellectual side suggests that my feelings are due in large part to the season of life and the circumstances I find myself in. I have two sons in high school, I drive almost two hours back and forth to work each day, and living on my own I have to cook, clean, do laundry, run my own errands, etc. etc., without very little help and most folks in my situation would probably feel the same Jungian, pop psychology, self aware ego suggests my soul is crying out for me to listen to my heart, take some risks, and don't be afraid to make some significant changes. Maybe even explore doing some things that would be considered rediculous or beyond the scope of common sense by the majority. These kind of thoughts pass through my stream of conscious from time and while I generally don't act upon them, most of time, they always find a way to pop in and out of my head on a semi-regular basis.......

Over the past year and particularly the past couple of months I have made some significant changes and have taken some risks. I have moved to a new school and did recently purchase a significant amount of new furniture in an effort to improve my depressing living situation. I have also made some recent changes that include joining a book club, getting to bed earlier, and learning to say no to requests for my time from others. As important as these changes have been I still feel something is missing. Either not sure what it is at the moment or perhaps lack the courage/motivation to confront the reality before me???......As I look into my future in the years to come I also struggle with the choices before me and oftentimes many of the choices don't seem too appealing. ....and....wonder if I just need a different perspective on the realities of my life or am I unable, at this time, to grasp or see alternatives that are yet to be revealed.....Part of me says that what I feel are simply a reflection of the times we live in. Rising cost of living, war, natural disasters, and an ever increasing micro managment at work are enough to depress even the most well adjusted individual......Whatever is going on it will probably become clearer in the weeks and months to come, because that's the way life seems to operate. It's seems to be the way universe operates. Sometimes I kinda wish I wasn't so sensitive to what is going on inside. Most folks appear to just suck it up and go on with life. But lack of self awareness isn't particularly appealing to me either. Side effects are potentially dangerous to self and others. I guess all we can do is chug on, batten down the hatches when we need to, and pay attention to our souls and our hearts. Life is a marathon, life is hard, and these are in many ways difficult and strange times we live in......

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

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Some things I don't understand

Just sitting here at the computer after watching yet another series of news stories on the hurricane Katrina tradegy and I confess I am numbed emotionally by what I have seen and heard over the past eight days. I have been following the story closely because I have attempted to integrate the story into all my classes at school as often as I can. As I watch and listen I can understand the wide range of emotions being expressed with great passion on all sides. I can understand the anger by victims and certain segments of the general population. I can understand the criticism's by those who feel more should have been done. I can understand the outrage of the Mayor of New Orleans. I can understand the frustration of those outside of New Orleans in places like Mississippi who feel they have been ignored and shortchanged. I can understand the actions of those who did not get out of New Orleans for one reason or another. I can understand the utter helplessness of some local governments officials and support staff who are working around the clock to do everything they can in what has been described as a living hell on earth. I can understand the loss of hope and utter fear of those left with nothing and I can understand why some people just refuse to leave their homes.....but......there are some things I cannot understand.....I cannot understand why some national cable news stations continue to talk and talk about the looters and the damage that was done to the business community. Didn't these people represent the extreme minority of the folks left behind? Most folks were held up in the Super Dome. As I tried to explain to my psychology class people often do extreme things when they are faced with extreme circumstances. I am not surprised at all. Don't condone it but shit happens when people are living on the edge and I think we all can agree that this disaster pushed alot of folks over the edge......I cannot understand why some talk show hosts continue to critisize the folks who stayed behind. Maybe if some of these folks had a place to go and a way to get there more would have left.....I cannot understand how anyone with any kind of conscious would want to profit from this disaster. Apparently a significant number of hotels located just out of the direct path of Katrina were jacking up the price to stay in their hotels. No wonder so many folks may have felt the need to stay behind. They couldn't afford to stay in the hotels....and we all know about the gas companies....shame on you......They couldn't wait to jack up the gas prices in my neck of the woods 50 cents before you could shake a stick. They raised prices quicker than adequate help arrived in New Orleans. Just proves, I guess, that the corporations are more organized than the government. No wonder they have become so rich.....I cannot understand why some talk show hosts want to blame to welfare system for the disaster. One host yesterday asserted that the reason many folks did not get out is because they were expecting the government to bail them out which is a lesson they learned from being on welfare....What is the world coming to????....but.....worst of all.....I cannot understand why the people housed in the Superdome and the Convention Center did not get food, water, and other necessities quicker. I can understand the difficulty and extreme challenge involved in the ongoing rescue effort to get people out of their homes and certain parts of the city but tens of thousands of people were crammed together for the whole world to see for days with little or no help and this I just don't understand????????