How I am going to celebrate Easter

As Easter is fast approaching I confess I am more excited about going to Death Valley next week to see the wildflower extraganza and "moon" like landscape than I am about attending any Easter service next week-end...As I ponder why next weeks Easter celebrations are not something I particularly look forward to here are a few of my thoughts that I will throw out for everyone's consideration. Mind you...These are "my" thoughts and "my" feelings and my comments are not intended to imply this how anyone else ought to feel or think about Easter although I suspect I may also be speaking for others who may feel the same way....When I first became a Christian in 1975 I was presented with a very simple Gospel message.....If you ask Jesus to forgive your sins and simply accept Jesus into your heart than God will forgive you and come into your heart and you will go to heaven and live with God forever. For a young teenager who didn't know up from down and didn't have a clue regarding the psychological baggage I was carrying this was certainly "Good News" that I couldn't resist....after going to church and gradually learning more about Christianity, doctrine, tradition, and the like, it was implied that the "simple gospel message" was not so simple after all. In fact, if I took what others were saying seriously, and I did, the gospel was actually quite complex on numerous fronts. For example, on the psychological front if one were to ask Jesus for forgiveness than doesn't one have to understand what sin is and understand the relationship between my sin and the fact that I was apparently seperated from God and just didn't know it?....and than there is the whole legal aspect which I picked up from my Reformed Brethren. Jesus had to die because God's sense of justice cannot allow sin to go unpunished because God would not be God somehow.....back to the psychological front....early in my Christian experience someone once asked me if I had truly repented of my sins and if I had since made Jesus the Lord of my life because if I hadn't than I would still be lost in my sins. That one raised a whole series of questions I hadn't even considered and I struggled with an acute degree of uncertainity over that one for quite a while....than there is the whole sin nature aspect, which can be rather confusing if you take the matter seriously. Apparently we are born in sin and although we are born with a "sin nature" something we had no control over somehow we were still reponsible for our sin and that is why we needed forgiveness and Jesus.....and to complicate matters even more.....there is the whole area of doctrine......along the way it was implied to me that doctrine was critically important and if one did not have the right doctrine than one's faith might be in serious jeopardy. Pondered that one for a long time also. Sound simple?....Would be if doctrine weren's such a huge area which imcompasses such potentially controversial topics such as the nature of Christ, the historicitiy of the Bible, ethics, and a whole host of other subjects.....fast forward to the present......Over the past few years I have pondered alot about this and that regarding my life and why things happen have turned out the way they have in my life and it seems from my vantage point that fear, guilt, shame, and rejection have all played a critical role in the past and the present. While the simple gospel I was introduced to is a "potential solution and antidote" to anyone who struggles with such demons of the past I also wonder at what price does one have to pay in order to become a part of a particular Christian community. I ask myself this question because it seems from my vantage point that in order to become a member of the visible local community one also has to either accept or at least "pretend" to accept a certain amount of baggage along the way in order to avoid a significant amount of potential cognitive dissonance that is certain to follow....back to Easter.....Easter is a time of celebration for millions of Christians worldwide and while I can appreciate the beauty and pagentry of this time of the year I also can't help feeling a bit of sadness because it seems that the pure essence of the Christian message has somehow been distorted or been lost along the way. This is not meant to be an indictment towards the church at large or any particular Christian tradition but I suspect I am not alone in feeling that the mention of sin, guilt, being potentially separated from God forever, need for repentance, and feeling certain about one's beliefs may trigger a whole host of "ghosts from the past" which at this time in my life I would prefer not to entertain....How I am going to celebrate Easter....Next week I am going to Death Valley for four days and take in the sights, sounds, and wonders of one of God's most unique creations on this planet and in my own quiet way I am going to give thanks to God for creating such beauty and giving me yet another opportunity to see and experience the wonderful world God has created. Later when I get home I am going to invite some friends over to watch a couple of Easter classics with my sons and I. Right now I am leaning towards watching Ben Hur and Samuel Bronston's production Kings of Kings staring Jeffrey Hunter as Jesus......I doubt at any time if I will think much about my own sin, need for forgiveness, the crucifiction of Christ and it's relationship to restoring my own relationship with God, or the potential of being seperated from God forever if I don't accept a particular Christian tradition regarding the nature of myself, the future, or history past, but I do intend to spend some time reflecting and reading from my red leather celtic design journal. I'll leave everyone with a few of my favorite verses I have recorded in my journal for your own edification during this Easter season....."Who shall separate us from the love of God? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness,or peril or the sword?....For I am convinced that neither life, nor death, nor things present, nor height, nor depth, nor demons,nor any created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God"....:But thus says the Lord, your creator...he who formed you...Do not fear, for I have redeemed you...I have called you by name...you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you...and through rivers, they will not overflow you, when you walk through fire, you will not be scorched".....The Lord is my Shepherd....Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for though are with me. Thy rod and staff comfort me. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life.".......Amen.....