About a month and a half ago I told my shrink that I needed a serious change of scenery regarding my living situation on several fronts but at the time I wasn’t exactly clear what I wanted or needed. I just knew something had to change….a person can only handle so much ambiguity, dysfunction, and ongoing lack of resolution… For the past two weeks I have been putting in 10 to 12 hour days cleaning, shampooing carpets, throwing junk away, and decorating my mom’s house where I have resided for the past three years since my divorce. Last week-end I went on a spending spree and bought some new furniture to replace my mom’s “very old” couches, love seats, and tables. At the moment I am feeling pretty good about what I have accomplished and bought but I have yet to slow down enough to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Today I started winding down quite a bit and am looking forward to taking some time to just smell the roses before I take off on one of my three week vacation jaunts to the wilderness.
Yesterday my principal called and asked if I would like to be transferred to Caesar Chavez High School which is a new state of the art High School in our District. My initial reaction was to say no. I have been at Delano High for 18 years now and it has been one of the few stable environments in my life for the past six difficult years. I have been in the same room for my entire tenure and I really love the kids, administration, and many of the relationships with other staff members… However… I have always wanted to work at a new high school and be a part of creating a new tradition and working environment from the ground up. Older schools and institutions, in general, have a history that is often very static and difficult to deal with particularly for someone like myself who is somewhat eccentric when it comes to my job and life in general. Right now I am leaning in the direction of accepting the transfer, in large part, because of the positive and long term relationship I have with the current head of the department at Caesar Chavez and the rapid deterioration of morale in my own department at Delano High School.
This is now beginning to look like a summer of change for me now on several important fronts and although I didn’t specifically plan any of the changes that have come my way I do welcome the changes. Change is often so hard for many of us I suppose because of the potential risk involved and the fear of the unknown…but….risk also has it’s potential rewards and we all need to get rewarded from time to time. At the end of the day I just don’t want to look back on my life and regret never taking a few chances here and there so I will probably take the plunge and move to the new school. I told the principal I would wait until Monday morning to contact him about my decision but right now it looks like I am going to take the new job…..I’ll finish up my recent spending spree this week-end and check out some of the new large screen televisions. I don’t watch a lot of t.v. but I do really like having friends and family over to watch special sporting events, movies, and concerts. Some of my most memorable moments over the past three years were with friends and family just hang in out and watching the Lord of the Rings ,Peter Gabriel, Tori Amos, etc. in concert....It’s finally starting to feel a bit like spring time around here. It’s been a very long winter on the home front and I look forward to moving ahead and having a more normal life again. Of course, normal isn’t always what it is cracked up to be but when you have been traveling in the wilderness as long as I have been a little normalcy may be just what the doctor ordered…..
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2 comments:
Of course it's easier for me to say than for you to do, but I will say "go for it" as far as the new challenge at Cesar Chavez HS is concerned. I think you would benefit from making a bold new move at this time. I speak from a distance, of course, but I think you are on the right track, especially since the opportunity is being offered to you. I don't expect that you will regret it. Gotta upset the applecart every once in awhile, seems to me, just to keep things lively and fresh.
Another vote for change and adventure!
Bill, this is an exciting time of your life. I do understand, though, that every new beginning means an ending and I appreciate how hard that might be.
It's an honor to be invited, I'm sure. You must be a terrific teacher.
I love your new look in your apartment.
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