What is courage?...."In a world saturated with images of action figure bravado, we may mistakingly believe that courage is the absence of fear. Instead it is the capacity to think, speak, and act despite our fear and shame….Courage is not blasting or blaming people, cutting them off, or parachuting from afar for dramatic hit-run- confrontations. Just the opposite. Genuine courage is carefully planning how to invite the person who has harmed you back into the conversation, so that the two of you have the best chance of talking over time in a real way. This is the hard route…This is courage"…..Miriam Greenspan
Tonight I did something very courageous. I stood up to someone who has continually abused and manipulated me and told them of the great pain they were inflicting on me and asked them to treat me in a way that honors and respects the dignity of the person I am. This was very difficult for me to do because of the serious fear of rejection/abandonment issues that has haunted my soul for more moons than I can remember and the potential rejection and shame that I predicted would follow from speaking my truth. But I did it and I did it despite the great fear and trembling that forever shouts at me from my past. I also attempted to speak my truth in a way that invited the perpetrator back into an ongoing conversation that I hope will someday happen….. ”Don’t underestimate inching. For every courageous act we make in our lives, the forward direction, not the speed of travel, is what really matters.”..Greenspan….Tonight I inched a step further regarding the dark emotions that haunt my soul. Inches are real and inches are good for one’s soul. At the present moment I don’t feel particularly proud or happy but I do feel at peace and being peaceful is a good place to be……
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
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1 comment:
Way to go, Bilbo. I'm not exactly sure that "congratulations" are in order, but I'm glad you were able to take this important step, in any case.
I like the quote. It is relevant to the work I do at Wedgwood, for the staff as well as the kids. I will probably find a way to weave it into the trainings I do.
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