Friday, January 26, 2007

Awakenings

I've been working on this blog idea for about four days now...in my head...and...hopefully this time around I can get it past my head onto my blog....so here goes...During the course of our lives we fluctuate between feeling stuck in a rut and feeling invigorated by the sights of sounds of nature, a movie, music, a stimulating conversation, or the whispers of a lover enticing our carnal nature. These invigoration's are what some refer to as "awakenings" of the soul. This past week I have experienced such awakenings in a way I have not felt in a long, long time and for the past four days I have pondered what is going on and why. For the past seven or eight years I have repressed many of my thoughts/ideas about religion, politics, and culture on the home front and my neck of the woods, and have limited my comments and ponderings to cyberspace. No one told me I had to go this route but it became increasingly difficult and frustrating to carry on conversations of such nature with people who weren't interested, didn't know what the hell I was talking about, or let's just say they didn't share my passion or point of view on such matters...so...I took my ponderings, questions, and passionate concerns to the world of cyberspace where bloggers and discussion groups abound with many people who share similar interests, passions, and reference points.

Over the past couple of weeks I have engaged in a number of conversations with four different people that have been extremely satisfying in ways I have not felt for a long, long, time. Sunday I talked to the pastor about her upcoming series on Brian Mclaren's new book and later I went out to lunch with some people at my son's church and we talked about film and it's potential relevancy in the field of education...and...the previous week I met a lady at church and we briefly talked about her own self imposed exile from the conservative religious sub-culture and I found out we used to attend to same church and I hope to hear more about her faith journey in the weeks to come.

Thomas Moore says that good conversation is sex to the soul. I had never thought it that way but I think Moore is onto to something because when I have an interesting conversation where I am engaged with another person I feel an exhilaration as I feel the blood rushing through my body from my head to my heart. I don't want to extend this analogy too far, but I think you get my point. I have also learned something about myself, my soul, as well. My soul needs and greatly values intimacy that involves face to face, engaging conversations with people where I feel safe to share what I think and feel about those things I am passionate about.

Sometimes we can go so long without food for our soul that we forget what good food tastes like. Now that I have gotten a little taste of some more substantial food for my soul I hope to indulge myself while the refriderator door is open and hopefully the next time around the door won't stayed closed as long....

5 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

Great thughts Bill ... good conversation is sex to the soul ... food for the soul ... what a great descriptions. I think that this kind of conversation often requires a level of transparency and vulnerability that many are uncomforatble with. Sad that the church is often a place where this discomfort is the norm.

Bilbo said...

Hi Bob,

I see you still have a hangover from your Spellnig Cuonts blog entry...It is sad, as you put it, that the church is often a place where transperency and vulnerability is oten not practiced. I have such mixed emotions about this because, on the one hand, the church does have it's limits regarding what they can and cannot do with the time they have, but on the other hand, if transparency, honesty, and vulnerability cannot be practiced at church, than where?...I just wish more churches would create more opportunities and forums for people you do want or need more transperency and I wish more leaders would model this themselves and encourage their members the value of being more vulnerable...maybe then...fewer of us would need to see a shrink...

Kansas Bob said...

Good thoughts Bill ... modeling and opportunity seem to be the right words ... and I thnk I speled everthing rigt.

Dave said...

This is nice for me to read, Bilbo. Good to see you making some solid person-to-person connections and experiencing a fresh batch of awakenings! My life has been pretty routine along those lines lately - I've watched some good movies and generally enjoyed myself but haven't had much in the way of transcendence for awhile. All in all, I have no complaint because the overall flow of things has been "good enough" but it's kind of a vicarious upper to think that you are having a touch of that in your life these days. I hope these relationships develop and fulfill the promise you see in them!

Bilbo said...

Hi Dave,

I am not sure what I have been experiencing would qualify as transcendent. Just experiencing some good ole fashion moments of human contact. You and others probably don't experience what I have been feeling because you are in constant contact with people from the time you get up to the time you go to bed. I live alone which has heightened my sense and need for even the briefest moments of intimacy with other human beings. I see my sons often but that is not the same as being alone with friends, colleagues, people my own age, or the opposite sex....