O.K., I suspect you are wondering what's up with this particular blog entry. To be honest, and I want to be honest on this all important topic, I currently feel the need to let off a bit of steam on the topic of sex...because...over the years I have become increasingly frustrated about both the lack of quality discussions on sex and the never ending negative context in which sex is discussed in public. I can count the number of satisfying/fruitful sexual discussions on one finger. Homosexuality,abstinence,pornography,rape, and sexual promiscuity seem to be the only aspects of sex discussed in the public square these days. Doesn't anybody have anything else to say or contribute to the discussion of sex?...Is there anybody out there who has something to add to this most sacred of human experiences?...or... are we only left to talk to ourselves or a shrink about our sexual desires, questions, passions or interest in sex?...and...I find it telling that we can create some interesting and provactive discussions about politics, religion, and a host of other human related topics but when it comes to sex we, more often than not, come up with a big fat zero, which is ironic considering the interest and passions the vast majority of us have about the topic...getting off my soapbox for a minute...I concede that sex is an extremely personal matter that we have all been socialized to approach with great care...and...I concede there is much wisdom in being cautious about the personal details of this aspect of our lives...and...I confess that I may not have anything profound to add or contribute to this all important conversation...but... I have actually spent a sigificant amount of time thinking about sex and following are some questions and observations I have regarding sex. I would like to begin with some questions in part I. These are questions I, most often, do not have answers for, but these are some questions that have passed through my brain at one time or another over the years....and....I hope these questions do contribute, in some small way, to a fruitful discussion about sex, if not here, at least somewhere, sometime, in the future....
1. Why do we prefer to use scientific terms like penis and vagina when we talk about sex, both in public and in private...and...why is the vernacular sexual vocabularly considered dirty or obscene?....at least with a significant number of people in the middle class?
2. What are the sexual options, if any, for the reported 77 million adults who are not currently not married?
3. Why is masturbation such a hush, hush topic,especially, especially when one considers that everyone does it or has done it?
4. What do we make of a husband or wife who continues to masturbate even though they are married?
5. What is erotic sex and why do so few married couples experience erotic passionate sex?
6. If sex is such a private matter to discuss than in what context is it appropiate to talk about sex?
7. Why is it so hard for so many couples to talk about sex?
8. Why is it so hard for so many couples to express their sexual preferences/passions and desires, with each other?
9. Why does the average married couple only have sex about one and a half times a week...especially, when one considers it is one of the most pleasurable of all human experiences....and it's free!...
10. Why do so many churches, generally, give lip service, to the beauty of sex...and spend so much time mentioning the negative aspects of sex....
11. Why does the Catholic church continue to "insist" that their priests be celibate and expect abstinence?
12. Why doesn't repressing our sexual desires work, for most people?
13. Is sex between consenting non-married adults always wrong?...no matter what the age and circumstances?
14. Why are a significant number of hereterosexual adults more offended and repulsed by homosexual behavior between two men than two women?
15. How realistic is it to expect engaged couples, in our day and age, to remain abstinent until the day they get married?
16. What does God "really" think and feel about people who struggle with their sexual identity or sexuality in general?
17. Why do so many Christian women seem repressed regarding their sexuality?...this question is based on my antidotal evidence taken from various discussions with many of my Christian friends over the years...
18. And finally....Why is so much shame and guilt associated with something so pleasurable?