Just noticed I haven't checked in for about ten days now. Not that I have a quota to meet or anything. Sometimes I am really busy and other times I just don't have much to say. Alot has happened on the homefront in the past ten days but I can't really go into details because of privacy concerns. Let's just say my two sons are going through a difficult transition period of their life. It's equally difficult and challenging for the parents as well but I have been particularly frustrated since I don't live with my two sons and therefore my interaction and influence is limited. I think I handled a very difficult situation last week pretty well but am just concerned how things will go from here. Parenting is challenging because there are no ready made handbooks that contain any magic formulas. Alot of it involves flying by the seat of your pants and just dealing with stuff as it comes up. As a parent I try not to control or micro-manage my sons lives and succeed most of the time but certain situtations demand more than a rah rah speech to do better. I've tried to approach the whole parent thing from mentors perspective and thus take advantage of challenging situations with teaching in mind. Good teaching, imo, does not involve just lecturing but rather should include asking questions, listening, and helping others to understand their options and teach decision making skills. That's my goal and approach as a parent but it is difficult at times because many of the other authority figures in thier lives "seem" to be more interested in controlling their behavior through psychological conditioning than teaching them the skills they will need to develop as responsible independent people....Been watching a little March Madness the last couple of weeks. Don't watch much college basketball during the season but love March Madness. It's the greatest sporting event in the world, IMO. It's pure and more unpreditable than many of the other high profile sporting contests and the only one that consistently lives up to it's hype. I don't have a favorite team that is still playing in the tournament at this time but did get a buzz off watching the LSU/Duke, Boston College/Villanova, and UCLA/Gonzaga games. Felt bad for Morrison but was estatic when LSU whopped up on Duke. At this stage I am rooting largely for the underdogs look forward to watching as much of the final sixteen games as time allows. Thank God for Tivo/DVR recorders!.....On the personal/self help/keeping my lent promise front I have been reading, writing, and contemplating about this or that. Just trying to learn and get myself out of the daily survival mode. Life shoudn't just be about learning how to survive and hang on. Living in the moment with self awareness and making choices that improve life for myself and others is an important goal but is a real challenge on a day to day basis. Sometimes I just get so flooded with anxiety, stress, or emotions I don't even know how to identify. "Intellectually" at this stage I understand that I need to learn how to attend, befriend, and surrender to the "dark" and difficult emotions but not sure what that exactly entails or how to break some of the bad habits associated with attempting to supress/repress negative emotions that are so easy triggered. It's the accumulation of the day to day stuff that I find most challenging. The big stuff often seems easier for me to handle. Perhaps it is because I am more focused because I know the stakes are high. I'ts all a process. Two steps forward, a step back, and so on. At the present I am trying to not judge or condemn myself when I don't live up to my own sense of self awareness and see mself entering into an experimental phase where I think I need to change how I do or respond to this or that. It's kind of exciting but frustrating as well especially when I see mself slipping back into patterns that only bring temporarily relief to the dark emotions that haunt our souls......Recently took a trip to the snow and tried my hand at black and white photos. Included a couple of pictures with this post. Intend to take some more tomorrow as I am planning a three or four hour road trip out through the foothills before all the grass dies which usually happens before April is over. It has been unusually cold for this time of the year but I am not complaining because I know the hot weather is on the way...