Thursday, August 25, 2005
What's Up?
Been doing a bit of pondering, working out at the gym, reading, and of course alot of work. Things have started well at my new school. Really like my new schedule and the kids seem to be responding very positively to my lessons. I am teaching two economics classes, one psych and two world history classes. Really love the psych class. Feel like I was born to teach psychology. Gives me an opportunity to share alot of things I have been processing for years and currently don't have an outlet for. Don't care much for teaching econ. The California framework is extremely abstract and academic. One would think they wanted us to create future economists or Wall Street pundits based on the curriculum. It's a tough go teaching to kids who don't care or can't follow the ponderings of academia but I generally try to emphasize the stuff I think the kids need and can understand and just kind of brush over the more esoteric economic concepts. Never was one to follow the letter of the law but do generally follow the spirit when it comes to my job which keeps me just "barely", at times, just above water and under the radar with the administration......Reading.....Am currently reading Karen Armstrong's autobiography "The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness. Am really enjoying the book so far. She picks up her story just after spending seven years in a Jesuit run convent. What an oppressive place to spend one's life. Thought my religious background was oppressive and controlling. Nothing compared to what she had to go through. Although I can't relate to the Catholic background of, Armstrong the nun, I can relate to the nature of her experiences as it relates to issues of dogma, indoctrination, and a subculture that most often sees the world as a bad place on it's way to hell. Alot of similarities with Protestant fundamentalism.....The Gym.....Been tearing it up at the gym the past two weeks and to be honest I am dumbfounded????....Have had the best workouts in years. Can't figure out why??? Was having numerous problems with back and knees earlier this summer but am now performing like someone on steroids. Maybe it's the music I listen to. Have been listening to Green Day's American Idiot the last three workouts. Doesn't get any better than listening to Green Day while riding the bike at 90 plus RPM's at level 10 and 11. Maybe someone should market Green Day's music as a subsitute to all of those expensive health drinks and pills the serious gym rats like to digest on a regular basis. Haven't performed this well since before I broke my back seven years ago. Whatever the reason I am going to try to enjoy it as long as I can before I tweek my back or a knee again.....Ponderings.....Have been thinking about my future from time to time and everything seems quite blurry for the most part. Just have strong premonition I don't want to continue to live in Bakersfield the rest of my life and as soon as I can I want to get out. If my two sons and girlfriend didn't live here I would probably move. The town is becoming another California big city with all the big city problems of pollution, traffic, and boring strip malls.....Do have a bit more clarity regarding the upcoming year. Am going to try to establish my roots locally. Have joined a book club where a group of us are going to read Brian Mclaren's book "A New Kind of Christian". Am really looking forward to this new adventure. It's been a desert for me the past four years locally regarding talking about religion and other things that are dear to my heart. Still don't know what I am going to do about church. Just don't feel much motivation to attend services. Can't even remember the last time I was touched, moved, or inspired by a church service. Probably when I was active in a local pomo leaning house church about three years ago. Perfer small intimate groups over the big productions. Big productions don't do anything for me except during the holidays.......Am going to travel less during the school year and spend more time on the domestic front. Am very satisfied with what I have done with the house this summer because it feels like my house now in many ways. It's been tough living here at my mom's house for the past three years in but do feel alot better about it now since I decorated much of the house to my liking.....Well.....that's what's up for now in my world......Bilbo's World......
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3 comments:
Bilbo,
Glad things are going well in the new school. We are a homeschooling family but I have a 15 yod that attends the local public school here in Las Vegas. Reading about your teaching gives me hope that she will be blessed and lucky enough to find a teacher such as you. If not maybe I'll send her out to Bakersfield. lol
I read Armstrong's Spiral Staircase about a year ago and it hit hard with me. I am a "fallen away" Catholic and so much of what she talked about felt familiar. She says at one point in the book, "Deprived of the familiar, I too seemed to have lost my way in a world that meant nothing to me." This spoke very deeply to me as it is how I felt when I walked away from the Catholic church. My familiar was gone. I had no "safety" net anymore and was now responsible for my own spirituality. A very freeing feeling and yet at the same time a lonely and uncomfortable one also. I am still working through such things as you talk about finding a church that means the same as you feel.
Ah Green Day. I have 4 kids ages 11-22 so I have been introduced and am glad I have such wise children who can show their mother the way :)
Know the feeling of wanting to move on physically from where you are now. After 3 years of Las Vegas I know it is not the city for me. Shoot after 3 months I knew this but it is where my husband has a good job for now so I guess I'll have to find the good within here for now. Really hard to do sometimes in this city.
Am going to look into your reading group book. Sounds interesting.
Glad to hear you are feeling so well. Loved the pictures and description of your vacation. The Spiral Staircase one made me think of Armstrong's book when I first saw it.
Hi Barb,
I admire those who want or think they need to homeschool their children. I have many friends who are homeschoolers. Unfortunately, some folks want to draw a wedge between public educators, homeschoolers and private educators. From my perspective we are all in this together and should encourage and support each other...I'm a "fallen away" Prostestant/Fundamenatlist/Evangelical. As I have stated elsewhere I never intended to stay away but concede I don't see myself going back unless I go back in an entirely different capacity, which at the present time I don't see on the horizon....I think you bring up an important point about now being responsible for one's own spirituality and how challenging that can be. Fortunately for me I have a very broad view of spirituality which I think has allowed me to handle the challenge of leaving the nest better than some....but....the loss of community, face to face, is another matter. I have also been helped immensly by my participation in various on line discussion groups with like minded folks like me. I don't know how I would of made it without the support and ongoing interaction with such wonderful folks aroung the country and the world.....I think you might find the Brian Mclaren book, A New Kind of Christian interesting and helpful even if you consider yourself fallen away and not particularly interested in jumping back in the saddle anytime soon. I have personally met and chatted with Brian on a couple of occasions and IMO he has a wonderful spirit about him that is also reflected in his writings. If you do check out the book let me know what you think. Got to run before I fall asleep at the wheel here. Nice to hear from you Barb.....
Hi Bilbo!
I love Green Day's CD. They really rock! Glad you find them conducive to exercise.
Thought of you last weekend as I whizzed by on the freeways of southern CA wondering where you werre driving at the same time. :)
I am now caught up with your blog. Go me!
Julie
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