Just got off the phone with my mom. Kinda of feeling sad. I am currently living in my mom's house all alone and today my emotions stirred deep within me. Things haven't gone the way I had previously envisioned, especially in the relationship department. Relationships just seem so hard. Regularly find myself vacillating between acceptance of the other and trying to communicate what I need and desire. So difficult at times because when one begans sharing one's deepest needs, hurts, pains, and fears, it can be threatening to hear. Don't intend to threaten or want to manipulate situation but intentions are not always recieved in the spirit that is given. Currently reading Thomas Moore's book the Dark Nights of the Soul. Reminded of the fact that individuals not only experience periods of darkness but so do couples, lovers, husbands and wives. Alot of folks and couples I suspect repress the darkness in our soul and would rather not open the door when the dark angel comes knocking... Problem is.....he will come back....again and again....so why repress?....guess most folks can only handle so much in a day, week or month.....and thus I have learned to be patient with myself when I succumb to shutting the door and demand that he come back another day.....I'll exit with a couple of quotes from Moore's book......But to choose not to love is to decide not to live. Everyone needs to love and to be loved. .....The soul craves love, and if you give up on love because it is so difficult, the life will seep out of you like air out of a punctured tire....and finally.....Waiting for another person to love you is not living. Once you allow your own life to flow, you have the best chance of attracting the lover you should have.....Bilbo
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Whoa dude. This is so... personal! Beautiful, intimate thoughts though, no problem with that. I respect your willingness to get vulnerable here, Bilbo!
Just to let you know, Bruce Cockburn's "Down to the Delta" is playing on my computer, on iTunes random shuffle. It made me think of you.
Thanks for the encouragement Dave....So you are listening to Cockburn. I'm been listening to him alot myself over the last couple of days. Music to "my soul"...better be careful though my friend. If you ever get hooked you might find yourself three hundred bucks poorer. That's thirty C.D.'s at ten bucks a pop. I speak from experience. I remember the time and the place I got hooked. Walked into a record store in Northern California about fifteen years ago and bought em all....just a gently warning from your hobbit friend......
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