My life has been alot like the weather this week. One day it is sunny and warm and the next it is cold, rainy and windy. The week started out with my two sons birthday party. It was nice to have my mom join us all for their little birthday party that I arranged but unfortunately none of their friends that I invited were able to make it to the birthday bash which I know disappointed them. I took them shopping the next day and I think overall they were grateful for the efforts I made to make their birthday special. I don't have too many fond memories of my own birthday growing up as a kid and therefore I don't want my two sons to experience what I went through. Birthdays are supposed to be special and I think we owe our loved ones the effort to make birthdays, Christmas, and holidays in general special times of the year, no matter whether those we love have been naughty or nice.......Woke up this morning to the coldest day of the year. Coldest day on record for this day. It has hovered in the 40's all day long which is extremely unusual for my neck of the woods. Generally it is in the 70's by now. Even hailed about an hour ago and the foothills outside of town are covered in snow. It's been a real bizarre winter. No rain in January or February and seventy degree temperatures and now it is rainy and cold. Very weird.....Went to get my taxes done this morning and boy was I shocked. Last year I got several thousand back but this year I may owe several thousand!...Wasn't expecting it but I guess that is what happens when you don't have any property or family to claim as dependents. Ouch!....I'm bummed to say the least but am trying to use this opportunity to learn how to handle the "dark emotions" which is a goal I made to myself for lent. It's not the money that is hardest to handle. I've got the spare change to handle the situation. I'ts the nasty dark emotions that flooded me when I got the bad news. You know, the anxiety, the insecurities, the feeling that this isn't fair. Intellectually I know I can't control the variables surrounding my tax situation this year but I don't have to succumb to the potential fallout of the anxiety created by such bad news......Anyway.....rather than mope about something that is now out of my hands I have decided to follow up on my Lent promise and post a few thoughts and quotes from the books Healing the Dark Emotions. If listening to the rants and mumblings of a quasi armchair psychobabbler doesn't float your boat than skip this section. No harm no foul. It's therapeutic for me and that's the point and hopefully these musings will be more counterproductive than trying to repress or escape the nasty emotions triggered by the bad tax news from the state and the feds.......Here's a few excerpts from Miram Greenspan's book for those who have ears to hear........"Whether we listen to them or not, the dark emotions will emerge. One way or another, they exert their call through our body---as an act of grace or an act of violence, a cancerous growth or a surge of creative energy. Dark emotions don't go away. They simply come to us in whatever form we can bear".....A couple of thoughts regarding Job......"Jobs first comforter tells him that his faith will protect him from harm. The second Comforter reasons that since God is just, Job must be guilty of some offense and his suffering justified. The third urges the innocent Job to repent of his sins. How hollow then is your comfort! Your answers are empty lies, Job replies. Job rails. What he asks his friends is to be accompanied in his pain and outrage. This is just what they cannot do. Instead, they blame Job for his adversity and explain it away, offering cheap salves that add a sharp bite to Job's blistering wounds. Their conventional theologies are their armor, protecting them against the vicarious experience of Job's radical vulnerability".......For the record....My tax situation is not analogous to anything experienced by Job....dah....but I find the story interesting because of the way Job's comforters interpreted and processed what Job was going through. Judgment, shame, and guilt are often the name of the game but I am learning that we most often need to learn to sooth the dark emotions that we experience in our day to day lives and not act as Job's comforters to ourselves or those that live amongst us.......